Economics 101 taught me the relationship between supply and demand in the market place. It's rather simple; the theory makes dollars and sense. Watching said theory being put into practice from the floor of a department store, however, is priceless. Let me rewind the tape. A little over a month ago I dropped part one of The Man in the Land Down Under, where I introduced the suggestion that men's briefs aka tighty whities are the equivalent of man panties (mp's). But it wasn't until afterward that I really began to notice the heavy inventory of mp's that stores are still stocking (and presumably selling). At the time I penned the post, mp's just seemed like good fodder; it was funny to me. But now I realize that in accordance with the theory of supply and demand, men have an actual present day panty problem. Click Here to Finish Reading
Continued: This is not a good look for men. If mp's are in the rotation, let me suggest reading or re-reading part one on this subject. Also, I'd like to offer the following lyrics from the King of Pop. He left us with instructions:
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A (wait for it) Change
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah
Just do it. And while you're at it, I have a few other notes and suggestions.
Think of your underwear game as basketball. Every man should have a solid starting five of equals. It's not uncommon for a man to have a go-to pair that he can always count on to score, but that's not "player" enough. I advise that when it comes to underwear there should be parity in the starting five - good parity, not bad parity. The starting five should be an all-star ensemble of stylish fitted boxers and not the equivalent of the raggedy off-brand Charlotte Bobcats. Of course, a starting five alone isn't sufficient. That's why a good 6th, 7th, and, in case of a laundry lapse, an 8th man pair should be available to insert into the rotation. There is enough space underneath the average man's salary cap to make sure his starting five is young and solid. Dont' offer contact extensions those who have seen their better days. A man shouldn't put himself at risk at becoming that unresponsive owner who doesn't care what others think about his team. Make sure your guys are competitive.
Also, a man should never find himself in the mood or moment, where he is sporting novelty underwear. Leave the leopard skin prints and the elephant faced designs complete with the swinging trunk appendage to the sexually ambiguous male stripper population. The look is all wrong for all types of reason, but we can start and end the discussion with self-dignity.
Speaking of wrong, it would be a mistake for some of the female readers, who are snickering as they read this, to think that all is good in their neck of the woods. For some, sure. For others, who think that the annual trip to Victoria Secrets with the birthday or holiday gift card is sufficient, have it twisted. First, matronly "period panties" are for periods PERIOD. I know. I winced at that one too when I wrote it twenty seconds ago. But it needs to be said. Trotting out the bloomers as part of the starting five is sexually unacceptable for men. Not even doubling down on the little blue pill can uncoil the damage that's been done once a man lays eyes on what should be relegated to episodes of the Golden Girls. "Thank you for being a friend. (Now) travel down the road and back again" to Victoria Secrets and replace them old ladies quickly. One
The Takeaways:
1.) A man should never hesitate to retire his underwear when it's time. And upon doing so, they should be moved to the trash and not to the far corner of the drawer, where they are subject to stage a comeback.
2.) Keeping a copy of The Man in the Mirror on the iPod isn't a bad idea. One never knows when he must save himself from himself. A soundtrack always helps to provide inspiration.
3.) Embrace the metro-savvy evolution of sexy. Mix in (black) fitted boxers to your rotation and fade out all prints including leopard skin, polka dots, paisley, checkered and cow prints.
See The Man in the Land Down Under (Part One)
Economics 101 taught me the relationship between supply and demand in the market place. It's rather simple; the theory makes dollars and sense. Watching said theory being put into practice from the floor of a department store, however, is priceless. Let me rewind the tape. A little over a month ago I dropped part one of The Man in the Land Down Under, where I introduced the suggestion that men's briefs aka tighty whities are the equivalent of man panties (mp's). But it wasn't until afterward that I really began to notice the heavy inventory of mp's that stores are still stocking (and presumably selling). At the time I penned the post, mp's just seemed like good fodder; it was funny to me. But now I realize that in accordance with the theory of supply and demand, men have an actual present day panty problem. Click Here to Finish Reading
Wow!! I made it all the way to the Takeaways befoe my ass cracked up @the stage comeback..mwaaahaaahaaa!!!
I hereby challenge anyone to attempt to read the MJ lyrics without bobbin' yo head,tightening your neck and wincing as you launch into the Na Na Nas....I've tried it repeatedly with no success...not to mention the point to where I'm standing on my sofa telling my imaginary audience to "stand up, stand up..you kneeeow it"
Hey wait a minute!!
Sometimes we women cant be sleeping with strings all up in our thangs, so at times I will opt for the boy short or granny panties...all that lace and frilly bull is not good for the kitty.
I was dying at the Man in the Mirror part I will never be able to listen to that song again without seeing man panties floating in front of my eyes!! lol
Great post!!
@Qwami and GI
I see you both appreciated the MJ reference.
@GI
"Boy shorts" are always welcome. "Granny panties" never an excuse. Personally, I've never been a fan of frills and lace. Fine line between sexy and silly.
Well for the ladies i would just like to say that if anyone watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion show on CBS last night, they would know that the "Granny Panties", or high wasted cut is making a comeback :)
http://thepantydrawer.blogspot.com/2008/05/starlet-panty.html
I stopped wearing boxers when I left the Air Force. Clean briefs of standard colors and patterns all my life. Keep a entire drawer just for briefs so I never run out and NEVER have old or worn-looking. What's so hard about that?
*Flatline, dead, & close casket* Okay okay *Resurrection*
From the day I was old enough to buy my own underwear, discovered thongs, boy cuts, and Brazilian lace tangas, I've never looked back. Them ugly granny drawers got trashed and boy cuts became the new "time of the month" panties. Lol lol. This one is too good.
@Nikks (nicholedanique)
That's what I'm talking about. Now, holla at GI for me and break this down for her.
There is nothing and I mean NO LITTLE THING like witty repartee. Carry on.