Mason Says

(Note: This must be Malcolm X week at Mason Says as this is my second post in three days where I've dropped a reference.)

In 1982, a bestselling book entitled Real Men Don't Eat Quiche hit the bookshelves. In 2001, nearly twenty years later, two planes hit the Twin Towers. Perhaps it's warped of me, but it's these two completely unrelated events that led to the title of this post, "Real Terrorists Don't Wear Bow Ties". Let me try to make sense of this. In 2007, under the Bush administration, a report named...
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Continued: In 2007, under the Bush administration, a report named "Nation of Islam: Uncertain Leadership Succession Poses Risk" was created by The Department of Homeland Security (DHS). In it were concerns were raised that the Nation of Islam (NOI) may be an internal terrorist threat to the homeland. Is anyone surprised that the same administration of Keystone Cops that let Osama bin Laden escape several times in the mountains of Afghanistan (after having him surrounded) would place the NOI under the microscope? It's like being up by one and watching LeBron James come down the lane with seconds left and deciding to switch off to go double team Daniel "Boobie" Gibson in the outside corner. Brilliant.

Fast forward to 2009: the Obama administration released the report last Wednesday (12/16) in accordance with a Freedom of Information Act request filed by the American Civil Liberties Union. A DHS spokesperson acknowledges the report "unintentionally and inadvertently" violated rules governing the collection, retention and distribution of information on U.S. citizens and organizations. First time for everything. Old habits die hard. The official goes on to say "the intelligence on the Nation of Islam should not have been written. The organization despite its highly volatile and extreme rhetoric has neither advocated violence nor engaged in violence."

Good. I'm glad we have that settled. I'm pretty sure that the Department of Homeland Security has better things to do with their time like confiscating my toothpaste at the airport. (Come another step closer and I swear to God Allah I will squeeze off some of this mint stripe Colgate gel all over this conveyor belt.) As usual, I digress.

Men will be men. Some will act a fool (terrorists), some will articulate a fool (black Republicans) and others, like myself, will avoid a fool. I'm not sure where the NOI fits in, but I'm positive they're not acting a fool and, therefore, they pose no terrorist threat to the country. Louis Farrakhan led one million of his followers and other black men to the nation's capital (I was there) in 1995 and the only thing that blew up was a port-o-let thanks to the Minister from the Memphis Mosque #55. It's consistent with what everyone knows. We're all aware, including its worse critics, that the NOI is well dressed, well mannered and well behaved; every day is Sunday school with moma sitting right upstairs.

Besides, "Real Terrorists Don't Wear Bow ties" to get back to the title of this post. Minus the occasional formal affair, let me tell you who wears bow ties: harmless American Muslims practicing an off-brand form of Islam, Diddy when he's on set to film a commercial, pretentious professors and intellectuals, eccentric hip hop stars, Michael Steele (nuff said), Bruce Bowen (video below) and men who are trying too hard to be like one of the above. Nowhere on the list are terrorists. Show me a terrorist wearing a bow tie and I'll show you a black woman who says she slept with Tiger Woods in this lifetime. They are hard as hell, if not impossible, to find; this is what I'm saying.

Look, I've made no secret that I'm not a fan of bow ties. I'll spare you a retread of that rant, as I've posted about it before. And I realize that I'm not alone on this one, as a lot of men share my angst about this peculiar form of neck wear. However, as I did some brief research and ruminating for this post, it dawned on me that Malcolm X (before, during and after his NOI days) also didn't care for the bow tie. Search Google images or anywhere else for photos of Malcolm in a bow tie. I found only one and it looks like it's a wedding, as the bow tie is white. This cat was not on it, despite what Elijah and the others (including Louis) were rocking. Could this be the little known truth as to why he was really pushed out of the Nation? Not only did Malcolm develop a bigger and broader worldview, he developed better fashion sense. Check out these photos of Malcolm X in those skinny GQ ties that are currently in style again. Just something to think about. One


The Takeaways:

1.) If you're a family member or friend of mine and you buy me a bow tie for Christmas, you run the risk of being smacked with it and sent back to the gates of fashion purgatory (or Brooks Brother) to return it.

2.) I've stated it before: if you must rock the bow tie, I strongly suggest that as soon as you can,
undo it and let it hang loose in that end-of-the-night unfastened Rat Pack style. Put down the Bud Light while you're at it and pick up a glass of single malt Scotch, the "nectar of the Gods", as Max Reddick, a fellow blogger, put it to me on Twitter.

3.) The Bush administration was comprised of well educated idiots. And the Obama administration is coming dangerously close to crashing through that thin ice of White House idiocy themselves. For the last time, terrorists don't wear bow ties. In fact, the daily intelligence reports should show that they don't sport any neck wear. When was the last time we've seen an ascot-wearing terrorist? Exactly. Scratch those cats off the watch-list.


Related post: Politics and Fashion Make Strange Bed Fellows

Related post: Diddy Shows Us How to Rock the Bow Tie

Los Angeles Times article on Nation of Islam and Homeland Security


This is a clip from yesterday (12/22) of Bruce Bowen, formerly of the San Antonio Spurs, now doing NBA analysis for ESPN. Is he going to break down some game tape or break down the recipe for a bean pie? Dammit Bruce! Roll Tape.



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