My wife talks too much. She goes non-stop. I don't even know what she's saying half the time because I tune her out. I try to listen but instead of getting to the point she goes round and round and she loses me. Many of my friends complain about the same thing with their wives and girlfriends. Any thoughts on this?
- Dajuan
Is it that she talks too much or you don't talk enough? Let's be honest about this. Most of us (as in men) rather whack a hornets' nest repeatedly with our bare hands than hold conversations of any great length with our significant others. Early in relationships, it's different though. We're talkative. We're more expressive. But when the chase is over, so is the conversation in a lot of cases. And with that, the communication in many relationships gets reduced to a bastardized form of sign language or a never ending game of charades. Click Here to Finish Reading
Continued: It's the great verbal divide between couples. What starts out as a mere crack threatens to become a major fault line that undermines the entire landscape of the relationship. Ever find yourself at a restaurant with your significant other and because the two of you have very little conversation taking place you begin to glance around the room and notice other table interactions or the lack thereof? Invariably, what you discover is, minus the clanging of forks and knives and perhaps some placating of obnoxious kids, others couples are also dining in relative silence. It's a telling commentary on relationships.
But to your point, there is another side to this and possibly just as problematic. Sometimes women really don't know when or how to shut the f%*k up. They seem to go and on about things that appear irrelevant to our existence. In reality, however, there are times when they're actually pressing us about matters that need to be discussed. There are three conversation non-starters that bubble up over and over again: the children, the bills and the state of the union (as in the relationship). None of which we want to discuss, ever.
Finding that middle ground where both parties can co-exist is ideal, but tricky. It's a classic case of being careful what you ask for, as the conversation that needs to take place about conversations is the very type of conversation you were trying to avoid in the first place. Damn if you do. damn you don't. Irony is a double-headed behemoth that way.
I do have an idealistic thought, however. What if the communication in relationships – going both ways – reflected the principles and spirit of Twitter? Conversations would no longer feel infinite. The short exchanges would consist of thoughts abridged to 140 characters. Yes, we would count the space between each spoken word, as well as the implied punctuation. It's possibly a win/win. Women get to have the dialogue they want or need and men get the brevity that we so desire. Everybody's happy. One
My wife talks too much. She goes non-stop. I don't even know what she's saying half the time because I tune her out. I try to listen but instead of getting to the point she goes round and round and she loses me. Many of my friends complain about the same thing with their wives and girlfriends. Any thoughts on this?
LOL, trust we'd figure out how to say everything we wanted to one way or another.I think woman talk more because we know that you are not listening. Like you said in the beginning it was a talk fest. We could look you in the eye and tell that you were listening and were actually interested. Now we get ta blank stare, a shaking of a head, followed by an "uh-huh, yeah sure whateva." That's why we continue going round and round before ever getting to the point. But like you said you could always pick up the Droid and say, "hun we need to talk."
Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com/
This is so familiar,I have lived as a bachelor now for several years, yer I have experienced this with some women I have established relationships with, in the pass, and I find it troubling.
We strive so hard initially to appear exciting and engaged. Then something about familiarity robs from our relationship,it's heart. In reading this it confirmed that which I have noticed goes missing, given time.
Is it self absorption or pinned hostility developed toward the other person? It generally seems to translate to less aggressive emotions such as boredom. Is boredom the price for familiarity? Is that the same component that makes us tired of what we do for a living?
I have heard some people, who state that they wake each morning anxious to get going, because they "love" what they do. They don't see it as a job at all, but a labor of love. Our better halves don't command that kind of; kind of what? Excitement, enthusiasm. Or is this really a question of "return on investment".
I'm not trying to give the impression I have the answer, but it doesn't take a doctor to recognize the symptoms.
Hi Mason, I accidentally stumbled upon this article, which is the first time I've heard of you or read anything you've written. I have to say that you're one in a million, meaning you are extremely intuitive, funny and you "GET" how we women think. I recognized myself in some of your comments which I greatly appreciate. Once one can acknowledge their faults, they can take measures to improve themselves. I also like the fact that you don't place blame on the women. You simply state the facts and make very constructive suggestions for both men and women that can foster better communication, hence a better relationship.
I wish all men were as intuitive as you. You brought a little sunshine into my birthday today and for that, mucho thanks. DLori
@Dlori
Thanks for leaving that comment. I don't know if I truly "GET" how women think or not but I do try to find balance in the different gender perspectives. I hope you continue to read and that you forgive me in advance for when I write something that pisses you off. Thanks for the support.
Outstanding. I've made that observation in restaurants, too. But I refuse to twitter.
Guys I'm with talk a lot. My ex:"Why don't you ever tell me about your day?" Me:"Why would I tell you about my day?" -Female aged 24
Im not exactly a talkative guy but I do love to talk about the things I love, not just everything. My woman on the other hand does it all, gossip, crack funnies, reitterate....i don't ever wanna hear the " you're not listening!" so I do enough to let her get it out since it must be soooo important to her that she keeps talkin. I ask all the w's of her story. its easy to remember and it covers all aspects of the stories.....with minimal expenditure lol Win/win