Mason Says

Over the years, the Super Bowl has morphed into more than just an NFL championship game that culminates with one team hoisting the Vince Lombardi Trophy in victory. It's become the high water mark of American consumption and consumerism. Everything is over the top: the festivities, the analysis, the commercials, the gluttony and so on. And, oh yeah, somewhere submersed in all of that is an actual game. With the full picture of Super Bowl Sunday in mind including the fact this year's game drew the highest ratings for any show EVER, I've taken the liberty to list a few things that we may have learned - some football related, some not. Click Here to Read the List

We learned:
1.) Both Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith belong to rival street gangs - either that or they belong to rival fraternities. I'm not a member of a gang or a frat, so I'm not sure what I was witnessing. But I was certainly curious as to why the hell they both seemed to be flashing what looked like gang signs on national television during their Hall of Fame inductee recognition.

We learned:
2.) The smartest "Pate-in" involved in last night's game was New Orleans' head coach Sean Payton and not Peyton Manning, contrary to what all the talking heads told us in the pre-game conversations.

We learned:
3.) Companies and advertising firms know what I know: the average American male is a henpecked neanderthal that wears man panties and loves guzzling cases of cheap ass beer. While many of the spots were humorous, I can't recall such a concentration of commercials, in past years, on Super Bowl Sunday that depicted the American male to be so goofy and sophomoric. A man can actually be well dressed, well behaved and funny. It's true. Unfortunately, the advertisers and their hired guns on Madison Avenue have yet to stumble across that concept.

We learned:
4.) The political left wing, perhaps including myself, overreacted to the pro-life commercial featuring Tim Tebow and his mother. The damn thing came off as a commercial for E-Harmony.

We learned:
5.) Indy's head coach Jim Caldwell, despite not showing much emotion on the sidelines, has the best "what the f%*k just happened here" facial expression, which we saw right after Sean Payton called that ballsy onside kick to start the second half.

We learned:
6.) Speaking of ballsy, it's a shame that Sean Payton wasn't coaching for New Orleans when the levees broke. They could have used his ca-hones. Those things are steel fortified.

We learned:
7.) Even though Janet and Justin's nipple-gate from a few years back has banned any chances of "urban" halftime entertainment for a while, rock bands from decades ago appropriately named "The Who" could still put on a hell of a show (in my personal opinion).

Until next year.